I Can't Fight How I Feel.

I'm not in the best mood right now. I'm about 5% happy that it's Friday, but the other 95% of me is sad and angry.

I was having a good day yesterday until I received a Christmas card in the mail from someone in my family. I opened it up, and the first word I saw made me instantly break down. They wrote my dad's name, my mom's name, my name, and then the name of my dog that died. They must not have known that he died. It killed me inside though. It hurts to think about him. I ended up throwing the card and going in the bathroom to cry. I've been doing that in the bathroom a lot the last 9 months, because I don't like to cry in front of people. Plus I'm tired of people wondering what's wrong, because they don't understand.

It's crazy how one thing can change your entire day. My mood can change in less than a second.

Sunday, my grandma is coming over to bake cookies. That's something my grandpa, my grandma and I used to do every time they visited. But now he's gone. I'm not emotionally prepared to do this, because I know that she's going to talk about him constantly. I have a feeling I'm going to be crying in the bathroom a lot Sunday.

I wish I could lock myself in the bathroom and never leave.