More worries. Just when I think I have enough stuff to think about and stress over, more happens. It seems like I can't control it either. It's all around me, and it's going into my brain and I can't quit thinking about it. There's nothing I can do to stop it. It keeps coming, more and more each day. It feels like no one can understand it except me. I have no idea what to do about it though. No one will help me.
My grandma is getting worse. It's getting really hard for me to see her. She complains a lot, and we are getting a lot of phone calls from her living facility that she is being bad. I'm worried about her because I know that it's only going to get worse, not better. The disease will slowly eat her brain. Just like everything else, there's nothing I can do about it. I can't stop it.
I don't even know what's happening every day until it happens. I used to know everything that was going on. Now I don't. I'm not happy about anything. I honestly think that there's something wrong with me and that I need to see a doctor. I'm never happy. Yesterday was really strange. I don't know if it was just everything catching up to me from the last year or what. I was really sad and angry. I have nothing to be excited about. I know, you're probably thinking "well, Christmas is coming up, she should be excited for that!" I'm not, because all it's going to be is a s*** load of family drama. I'm not looking forward to that at all. You'd understand if you were in my shoes.
I try not to tell anyone about all of this, because I figure if they are like me, they have enough stuff to worry about. Plus if I tell anyone, they won't care. They'll just say "ok." People are so self-centered. That's why we have this screwed up world.
It's a never ending battle, but I have to keep fighting.
Don't stop fighting. From what i hear these are the worst years of our life. I know family drama sucks. You can always come over! You are so strong, don't forget that!
ReplyDeleteThat's what I keep hearing too. I'll try to come over sometime. Thanks for everything!
ReplyDeletemaybe the reason why we don't say anything is because we are fighting a battle ourselves
ReplyDeleteyes but you could still be there for your friend to me it sounds like this poor girl needs a true good friend to help her thru this crazzy confuseing stuff toghter we are stronger alone we are foolish ... you know back in the cave man days they would go hunt toghter as a big group do in case one fell the other was there to help em up
ReplyDeleteand people still do that to today ... its foolish to take on a big tiger by your self ... thats why alll the big shots are usely the frist ones to fall they think can handle this but who's there to catch them when they fall ?? they pushed away all the other hunter's and made fun of the other hunters and went and took on the tiger by himself and now he is is in the tigers belly and the hunters shake thier heads in disgutse
ReplyDelete