Quick Post/Fangirling again.

I'm in dance class right now, and since one of my partners for the Chinese Ribbon Dance isn't going to be here Friday to present, my teacher is going to let us present next Tuesday, which takes a LOT of stress off of me. So thank you to my awesome dance teacher!

I'm sitting by myself listening to "Invisible" by Big Time Rush. I absolutely love this song. It's beautiful. "Oh! When the lights go down in the city, you'll be right there shining bright. You're a star, the sky's the limit, and I'll be right by your side." The song feels like it speaks to me. So for the 0.00000000000004% chance that any of the members of BTR are reading this, THANK YOU. You guys are honestly life savers. They've helped me so much. If it weren't for them, I don't know where I would be. I probably wouldn't even talk. They have helped me get through this terrible year. I know some people don't understand how some celebrities can help so much, but I do. And I believe that someday, they are going to be HUGE. They're beautiful people inside and out, and they honestly care about their fans.

Sorry for my fangirling, but once I start talking about them, I can't stop. They mean so much to me.

Procrastination.

I'm sitting in study hall, where I really should be doing my homework. But I'm not. I'm blogging about how I should do my homework. I find this funner than actually doing my homework. I have a dance paper to do, which luckily isn't due until Friday, along with a poster and a demonstration of the dance. That's already half done, I only have one more page to write, but I'm stuck. There isn't that many things you can write about a dance that didn't even originate in your country. So if anyone out there knows anything about Chinese Ribbon Dancing, please tell me.

Next I have a 3 part World History assignment that's due tomorrow. I have one part of it done already. But now I have to make a concept cube and make a weird hanger thing about the Middle Ages. I'll probably do that at home later, and I'm not looking forward to it.

Last, I have an Algebra ll worksheet that's due tomorrow. I actually would be doing it right now, but I don't understand it at all. My teacher only explained the really easy problems, but then she gives us hard problems that we have no clue how to do.

Confessions.

My dad is watching some stupid movie on my main computer, so I'm using the sucky school laptops right now. I'm bored, so I thought I would post some truths about me.

1. I should really be doing my homework right now. I have two assignments in history, a dance paper to do, and algebra ll. The History and Algebra are both due Tuesday, which SUCKS, but the dance paper is due Friday.

2. The school computers suck. The bad thing is, a lot of people agree with me on this one. Yes, I'm grateful to even have one, but the quality of these things is like a public toilet. They're crappy. Plus, I have long nails, and typing on a laptop with long nails is not easy.

3. I worry about things that I can't change. Death. My grandma's dementia. The future. This whole year in general. Friends, family. I know I can't change it, and that bothers me a lot.

4. My Desktop Publishing teacher deserves to have his own comedy show. I know this is a SUPER strange thing to write part of a blog post about, but this dude is hilarious. He says "K" so many times that if you were around him for a whole day,it would drive the sanest person into a mental ward. I find it really funny though. I've counted how many times he's said that in one class period before (a class period is an hour and a half) and the results came to over 400 times. That's crazy. He also gets mad at the software, and tells everyone that he's going to "call the creators and chew them out." Haha. To whoever's reading this: If you met this dude, you would love him in a very strange way. Either that, or you would need mental help.

5. I don't think I'm a good friend. I feel like I'm really selfish when it comes to friendship. I don't mean to be. I don't know if it's part of being an only child and hating to share, or if it's just that I'm selfish. It feels like I can't help my friends when they are going through tough times. Deep down, I panic and don't know how to help them. I want to be there for them, but it feels like if I try to do/say anything, it won't work and it will only harm them more. Especially the situation right now with Zebra. (not her real name.) I have no idea what to say or do. I worry about her a lot. I know she's going through a super hard time, but I don't know how to help. All I can do is hope and pray that everything gets better.

6. I don't like the traditional Thanksgiving food. I'm only saying this because I had turkey and mashed potatoes and gravy tonight. I don't like turkey. I think it tastes gross. I honestly don't like ham that much either. Generally, I don't like meat. I don't eat hamburger. A lot of people think that I'm a vegetarian, but I'm not. I just don't think meat tastes good.

7. I HATE having my picture taken. I don't think I'm pretty at all. I never take pictures of myself. My Facebook picture has been the same since the first day I got it. If there's something covering my face like a mask or glasses, then I'm fine. Otherwise, I despise having my picture taken.

8. I feel like I'm too mature to be a "teenager". I've never felt like a teenager. I feel like I've went from being a kid straight to being an adult. I don't go party. I can't even go outside my house by myself. I feel like a prisoner. I've been through things most people never go through until they are way older than just 15, and I think that's part of the reason why I feel more mature.


There's way more, but I'm tired of typing. I'll probably continue this some other time.

A Random Fangirl Post/Elevate Album Review

Ok, so if you know me, you know that I absolutely LOVE Big Time Rush. Well I'm super bored and listening to their new album "Elevate". (if you haven't listened to any of the songs, BUY THE ALBUM NOW! it's AMAZING!) Anyway, I'm going to post my favorite quotes from the songs, and write a review type thing of each song.


Music Sounds Better With U- "I try to write this down, the words just don't come out, it's hard to say how you feel." This was the second single of the album (If I Ruled The World was the first.) and I love this song. In my opinion, the beginning is perfect. When I first heard it, I almost cried, because it reminds me of what's happened to me this year. It is hard to say how I feel.

Show Me- "Guys like me like girls like you, and girls like you like guys like me." Being the fangirl that I am, I wish they were singing this to me. It does sound kind of dirty though if you have a dirty mind lol.

All Over Again- "Still got the same look that sets me off. Guess there's just something about you." That's my favorite line from the song because if you have ever had a crush that you've been crushing on for so long it feels like you're in love with them, you'd understand. There's just something about that person that makes you love them.

No Idea- "I love you, if you ain't got nobody to love. And girl I adore you, when there's no one to adore. And I'll know you, if you want somebody to know." I've felt alone this entire year, and this song really feels like it's talking to me. If anyone ever sung this to me, I'd probably love them forever.

Cover Girl- "Somehow you always see the dark side, when everything's okay. And you wear baggy clothes that camoflague your shape. Woah, but you know that I love you, just the way you're made." This song honestly makes me cry like a baby. The fact that BTR wrote this is incredible. Almost every girl is insecure about their looks and their bodies, but this song talks about no matter what you look like, you are still beautiful to someone. So to my friend "Zebra", (that's not her real name.) if you're reading this, I want to dedicate this song to you.

Love Me Love Me- "Jaw drop, heart stop, we eye lock. I must be dreamin' don't hit the alarm clock." Where do I even begin to review this song? Three words: BEST SONG EVER. I've loved this from the moment I heard it. It's super catchy, and I'm pretty sure everyone is already annoyed by my constant dancing and lip-synching to this song. Once again, the line I wrote down from the song pretty much describes when your crush and you make eye contact. You pretty much about have a heart attack. (well at least I do anyway.) I also love the part of the song that says "Ready?" then it says "GO!" repeatedly like 15 times. I bob my head like a turkey then.

If I Ruled The World- "Be who you are, love is all you need." Every time I listen to this I honestly get up out of my seat, and kick off my shoes like I'm down at the beach. Even if I'm not wearing shoes. Then I shout "ayo." Some people don't understand. If you're a rusher, you understand though.

Invisible- "Oh, when the lights go down in the city, you'll be right there shining bright, you're a star and the sky's the limit, and I'll be right by your side. Oh, you know, you're not invisible to me." The first time I listened to this, I was in awe. Carlos wrote this song. Sometimes I do feel like I'm invisible, but this song makes me feel so much better. This song proves BTR's love for rushers. It's about their fans, and how their not invisible to them.

Time Of Our Life- "Don't worry about a thing, just dance dance dance." I do love dancing, even though I'm not that great at it. I don't really know what else to write about this song though, because it really doesn't have a deep meaning. It's mainly just a party song about having the time of your life.

Superstar- "You're shinin' like a star, I wanna be where you are, are. Oh no, oh no. Let's take over this club. You're shinin' bright in the dark, dark. You light up the night!" This song is one of my favorites off Elevate because I waited FOREVER for it. It's a fun song, and I like dancing to it. Plus, Logan sounds flawless in it. I majorly fangirled when this song was on an episode of BTR.

"You're Not Alone"- "Cause you're not alone, girl. Look over your shoulder. You don't have to wonder. Cause you know, you know, you know. You're not alone." I'm in tears as I write this. That song is so touching. I've felt alone all year, and to hear them sing about how I'm not alone makes me cry. They have helped me out a lot this year. Just by listening to their music, watching their TV shows, or other things about them on YouTube is like medicine for me.

Elevate- "Elevate a little higher lets throw a party in the sky and celebrate. Elevate until we're flying. Move your feet till you levitate, c'mon lets elevate." This is my second favorite song off the album. It's catchy and fun. I'm not sure what the meaning of it is though. It's another party song, but it's great.

Overall, this album is amazing. It was worth the wait, even though the wait seemed like forever! BTR have definitely elevated with this album. If you want to listen to it, you can listen here:
http://www.cambio.com/2011/11/14/big-time-rush-elevate-album-premiere/

Thanks for reading!

Pain

Why is there such a thing as pain? Emotionally, physically it stabs you. Stabs you right through your brain. It can ruin days, weeks, months, even years if you let it. But sometimes you can't control it. It can be caused by other people. They will keep harming you, emotionally, physically, until you feel like nothing. A piece of crumpled, ripped up paper in the garbage.
But just because you're in pain now doesn't mean you will be forever. Everything will end eventually. Just because one person harms you, it doesn't mean that it's every persons goal to hurt you. There are over seven billion people in the world. There are people who love and care about you. Never give up hope.

Today's Thoughts

It always seems like I'm happier at school. When I go home, my day instantly turns upside down. I'm tired of the constant complaining. I can't get away from it. It's all I can hear, and it will never stop.
At school, I'm usually smiling. School is the only place where I can laugh. Of course there's an occasional idiot or something else that makes me mad, but for the most part, I'm happy. When I go home though, all I do is cry. I cry because I'm constantly reminded of this year. "Grandpa, Grandma, dementia, nursing home, death". Those words travel through my ears, stabbing me in my already weakened heart. Sometime it's going to explode like a volcano. The lava will never quit flowing. It will be over.
The sad thing is that no one cares. No one cares about how I feel. I'm there for everyone else when they are depressed, but I'm all alone. I've been alone this whole year. It's always been about someone else. Always about someone else and their feelings. I've been on and off depression medication, fainted so many times I can't count. I've had my blood taken 2 times, been to the doctor 3 times all in the last month. But they only think it effects them. They don't realize that I'm in the background knowing that all of this is happening. I know what people are doing, I'm not stupid. This is the real world though, and I can't escape it.

Thoughts from yesterday.

I wrote this down on a piece of paper in Desktop Publishing yesterday, but never got time to type it last night, so I'm typing it now.

Today has been a really good day actually. It's nice to finally have good days after how my life's been for the last year. It felt nice to have someone pat me on the back and tell me to calm down, everything is fine. That simple pat was like medicine for me. The strength to survive another day. The medicine that helps you heal, become healthy again.

This year has been very hard. Finding the strength to even struggle through it was unimaginably difficult. But I survived. The things I've been through so far have made me stronger. I've also learned some important lessons also. Never give up. Life's too short to worry about things that have already happened, you can't go back and change them. Everything does happen for a reason. You might not know the reason when it happens, but you will figure it out eventually. For the first time in almost a year, I can say life is ok.

School.

A Lovely Year By Year Survey Created by Fadingstar and taken 943 times on Bzoink
Preschool
Did you have preschool? One year or two?:	one
Did you enjoy it?:	yes
Could you spell your name by then?:	yep
Could you buckle your cordoroy overalls?:	nope haha
Were you an emo crybaby?:	yes
Did you have show and tell? What did you bring?:	we didn't have one in preschool.
Kindergarten
Did you hate the schoolbus?:	I never rode the bus.
Did you ever scream and cry and grab for your mom?:	yes.
Did you have a kids tv show themed backpack?:	probably.
Were you afraid of the bathroom?:	nope
Do you remember the field trips?:	yes
Do you remember ANYTHING about kindergarten?:	yes
Were you the kid who tied the other kid's shoes, or did people tie yours?:	people tied mine. LIKE A BOSSSSS. lmao
1st Grade
Did you memorize all those stupid clapping songs? 'Miss Suzie had a..':	yeah haha
Are you still chummy with your friends from first grade?:	unfortunately no because they all moved. :(
What kind of people did they turn out to be?:	good people i guess?
What was your playground ritual?:	i was everywhere.
Moment of glory?:	when that one dude acted like he sold popcorn haha
Ever pee yourself?:	yes. this is embarrassing.
Were you an early bloomer or a late bloomer?:	average i guess?
2nd Grade
Love or loathe story time?:	loathe
Have you seen your second grade teacher in awhile?:	no
Did you sneak some of your snack out of your desk before snacktime?:	nope
Who were your best friends?:	Sam
Girl/Boy Scouts?:	nooooooo
3rd Grade
Was third grade a short year to you?:	no it was forever.
Did you feel like a big shot finally being in elementary school?:	I was in elementary school when i was in preschool?
Ever pick on anybody?:	no.
Were you picked on?:	nope. i actually never was until middle school.
Were you a bookworm or an anti-reader?:	in the middle.
4th Grade
What was the worst trouble you got into in 4th grade?:	I didn't get into trouble. The teacher didn't like me though.
Best friends..same or different?:	Same. Sam :)
Were the field trips satisfactory?:	oh yes.
How was your first encounter with the nurse about puberty?:	i didn't have one.
Did boys still suck?:	no. but i'm not telling ANYONE about that haha.
5th Grade
Did you pick on the younger kids?:	no.
What was your style?:	girly.
What was your favorite color?:	green
Is your haircolor the same as it was in fifth grade?:	yes
Who was your favorite musican?:	gosh, i don't want to even talk about it. I liked country music back then.
Were you good with book reports?:	yep
What did you do at recess?:	went down the pole thing.
Were you liked/popular?:	yep
Were you a rebel or a conformist?:	what?
6th Grade
Was being at the bottom of the food chain again totally nerve racking?:	yes.
How were those awkward preteen years?:	I actually LOVED 6th grade.
Were you ever picked on?:	yes.
Were you afraid to go to the bathroom?:	why would i be afraid?
What did you care about most?:	Someone. ♥
7th Grade
How were your grades in the 7th, better or worse?:	only one was terrible thanks to that jerk of a teacher.
Did anything change for you in 7th?:	yes.
Pick up any activities?:	nope.
Pick on the 6th graders?:	no i never pick on anyone.
Befriend the 8th graders?:	no.
8th Grade
Top of the food chain once again! How was it?:	YEAH BUDDY
Did you hang out with the older kids?:	nope
How were your grades?:	they were good
Were you a popular kid?:	not really, but people knew me.
Did you enjoy 8th grade?:	yes.
9th Grade
Were you afraid of upperclassmen?:	kind of.
Were you friends with any older kids?:	nope.
Were you stylin?:	ew not really.
Did you think you knew it all?:	kind of.
Did your parents suck?:	yes.
Do they still?:	YES.
10th Grade.. (Leave blank if you havent reached 10th)
How were those finals?:	I'm in 10th grade right now, so i'm not filling out the rest of this.
Did you get your permit?:
Did you crash at all?:
Did you drive kids when you weren't supposed to?:
Did you go to the junior prom?:
11th Grade
Did you plan on going to college?:
Love life?:
Have trouble with zits?:
Get in any fights?:
12th Grade
Did senior year rock?:
You havent reached senior year yet, have you?:
Any regrets?:
What are you doing with your life right now (no matter what grade):
Rate your educational career.:
You know you love it:
You've been totally Bzoink*d! Take This Survey | Search Surveys | Create a Survey

You're the reason things have to change Created by -xoxo and taken 17 times on Bzoink
What's your least favorite thing about the internet?:	When it freezes or doesn't work.
What is the worst thing a teacher has done to you?:	Gave me an F for no reason.
Have you ever heard of Framing Hanley?:	Nope.
What's your favorite ice cream flavor?:	Coffee, Vanilla Bean, or Strawberry Cheesecake
Have you ever made / tried friendship bread!?:	My dad made it once and I tried it.
Do you have good skin?:	idk? I guess so?
What type of tea do you like?:	Sweet Tea.
Would you ever go storm chasing?:	No, I don't want to die.
Ever been back stabbed by a "friend"/:	yes.
Are you a fan of Drake?:	not really.
If you could stop time for a whole 24 hours, what would you do?:	Dance like a crazy person.
What's the most disgusting thing you've ever seen?:	You don't want to know.
What was the last youtube video you watched?:	Something with BTR in it.
Has someone ever pushed you down a stair case?:	no.
What does your hair look like in the morning?:	Not bad actually.
Where were you 3 hours ago?:	Sitting here. hahah
Do you need to do laundry?:	No.
Do you use hot sauce on your tacos?:	I don't like tacos.
Have you ever fake tanned?:	No that's gross. I don't want to be orange.
What do you want to know about the future?:	I want to know if it will get better or not.
You've been totally Bzoink*d! Take This Survey | Search Surveys | Create a Survey

Survey Answers

Another simple original survey Created by captainpat and taken 54 times on Bzoink
What Time Is it?:	5:35 p.m.
Have you ever been to NYC?:	no, but I would like to go.
Do you like math?:	no. I can't stand it.
Did you ever steal anything before?:	no.
What are you doing right now?:	filling out this.
If you could fly, would you give rides to your friends if they asked?:	yes.
Yeah, i wish i could fly. Don\'t you?:	of course! then i could poop on whoever i don't like.
Would you jump off the empire state building if you had a parachute?:	no. i'm a chicken.
Speaking of parachutes, skydiving sounds fun, would you ever go?:	no.
have you ever cheated on someone?:	nope
Who loves orange soda?:	ME!
is it true?:	yes.
Do you remember what that\'s from?:	i have no clue what you're talking about.
Do you remember Rocko\'s Modern Life, or Doug?:	kind of.
Have you ever skateoarded before?:	i tried in a store once.
When you go to burger king do you feel bad for the people making your food?:	kind of.
What would you do if a teacher hit you?:	flip out and call my mom. or put a wrestling move on him/her.
Have you ever microwaved something you shouldn't microwave on purpose?:	no. my microwave sucks anyway.
do you ever have to mow your lawn?:	nope.
Do you like clowns?:	no
Do you like the fair?:	i've been to one fair and never want to go to another one.
Are you one of those people that takes hundreds of pictures of themselves?:	no. i hate taking pictures of myself.
And those people that have 60 picutres of them in a mirror on thier myspace:	haha no. i don't have a myspace anyway.
Did you ever wanna break a world record as a kid?:	yes.
Do you like Dr. Pepper?:	yeah, it's one of my favorite pops.
What do you think the 23 flavors are?:	goodness.
Are you a mall rat?:	nope
Who would win in a fight between Ronald McDonald and The King:	The King. because he's the King.
If a hobo gave you a hug what would you do?:	run for my life.
Would you give Obama a fist bump?:	no.
You've been totally Bzoink*d! Take This Survey | Search Surveys | Create a Survey

Bored.

It's Sunday. I've done absolutely nothing today. Well not exactly nothing, but close to nothing. I've mainly been on the computer all day. It's nice to relax and do whatever I want though. Right now I am taking a bunch of quizzes and stuff and answering them, so I might post a few.

Burning

It feels like I can't take it anymore. But I have to act like everything's fine and keep going. I'm sick of pretending. I'm tired of being the "quiet girl who never talks." I do talk. But when I do, most of the time I get judged. I get yelled at. I'm sick and tired of people yelling at me and I just have to sit there and not say anything. That's unfair. I think that everyone has a right to a good life. But it's hard when you don't even want to go home anymore because you get screamed at. They promise that they will quit. They never do. It's all lies. It's to the point where I can't believe anyone but myself. I've trusted way too many people in my life and figured it out the hard way. It's pretty bad when you lock yourself in the bathroom and cry your eyes out because you don't know what to do. That's what happens to me. When I cry, the tears burn. The tears are parts of my heart burning. I'm getting ripped apart, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I can't do what I want. I get told what to do. It feels like I don't even know who I am anymore. I am what other people are making me. When will this be over? When will I be happy again?

Time Heals.

I went to the doctor today, and he said something that really hit me. "Time heals." The more and more I think about it, the more I realize that it's true. If you are having a bad day, week, month, or even year, it will all eventually get better with time.

Questions and Answers.

I found this on tumblr. I'm going to answer everything truthfully.


1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?  Yes.
2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? No.
3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time? Right now.
4. Would you ever smile at a stranger? Yes. I actually do that a lot.
5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? No, actually, it's the other way around right now. :( I'm the one who's mad, but I don't want to talk about it.
6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? Of course. 
7. What exactly are you wearing right now? Pink shirt with Pacman on it, and blue shorts with mickey mouse on it.
8. How often do you listen to music? Very often. I'm actually listening to music right now.
9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? Jeans.
10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2012? Well, probably not before, since it's November 2011 right now. But hopefully it will change for the better in 2012.
11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? Mostly antisocial unless I'm around someone I know.
12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’? No, I wish though haha.
13. What about ‘R’? Nope.
14. Can you drive a stick shift? No, I can't even drive a normal car. Just go-carts.
15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? Yes. 
16. Are you going out of town soon? No.
17. When was the last time you cried? Earlier today when I was at the doctor's.
18. Have you ever told someone you loved them? Yes.
19. If you could change your eye color, would you? Yes, I would change them to dark brown.
20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for? Yes. Any of the members of BTR. 
21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. It's only Wednesday.
22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? Yes.
23. Are you dating the last person you talked to? Haha no.
24. What are you sitting on right now? A chair.
25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? No.
26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? Yes.
27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? My Mom.
28. Do you get a lot of colds? Used to, not that many anymore though.
29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from? A Wal-Mart on the other side of the state that I live in. I got it when I went down there for my Grandpa's funeral.
30. Does anyone hate you? Probably. But I honestly don't care.
31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? No. I've never drank in my life.
32. Do you like watching scary movies? No, I'm a chicken.
33. Do you want your tongue pierced? No, I don't like piercings.
34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? This year.
35. Did you have a dream last night? Yep.
36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? 2 Saturdays ago when I was visiting my Grandma who lives in a nursing home.
37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? No.
38. Do you think someone has feelings for you? No.
39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? I'm not sure, I'm not a mind reader.
40. Did you have a good day yesterday? Kind of.
41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? No.
42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl? Not exactly "hang out", but talk to them at school.
43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Yes.
44. What’s the best part about school? Lunch because I'm always hungry. Or dance class.
45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? Yeah. Pretty much anyone who has a Facebook does have pictures on it.
46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? Yep.
47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? Yes, and I hate it.
48. Were you single over the last summer? Yes.
49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? No. I wish I could go back 2 years. My life was way better.
50. What are you supposed to be doing right now? Nothing actually haha.
51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? No, because I don't talk to people I don't like.
52. Are you nice to everyone? I try to be.
53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yes.
54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? Yes. It's wrong to cheat on people. Why not just break up with them if you are looking for another relationship?
55. Are you good at hiding your feelings? Not sure. I try to hide them though.
56. Do you think you like someone? Yes. Duh.
57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’? Nope.
58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? Girls.
59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? I don't think so.
60. Do you hate anyone? Not hate, but strongly dislike.
61. How’s your heart? Half of it's shredded into 150 million pieces, and the other half is ripping apart at the seams. 
62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? Yes. Many things.
63. Have you ever cried over a guy? Yes.
64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? People from school.
65. Are your toenails painted pink? No.
66. Will your next kiss be a mistake? Hopefully not?
67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct? No? Well at least I wouldn't.
68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public? Thankfully no.
69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with? One of my best friends.
70. How do you look right now? Really crappy. I always do when I'm at home, I like to be comfy.
71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? Yes.
72. Can you commit to one person? Yes.
73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? Not everything, but some things.
74. Have you ever felt replaced? Yes. Many times.
75. Did you wake up cranky? I always do on school days. Or on weekends when some idiot calls my home phone really early in the morning.
76. Are you a jealous person? Sometimes.
77. Are relationships ever worth it? Yes, if they don't turn out well, you learn important lessons.
78. Anyone you’re giving up on? No, and probably never will.
79. Currently wanting to see anyone? Yes, everyone that I've known that has died this year.
80. Name something you have to do tomorrow? Go to school.
81. Last person you cried in front of? My mom and my doctor.
82. Is there someone you will never forget? Yes. 99% of the people currently in my life that I care about.
83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? No, I wish.
84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? Talking.
85. Are you over your past? No. It's going to be a long time before I'm completely over it.
86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? No.
87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? Does myself count?
88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? I guess so? I like presents.
89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? Yes.
90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? Probably. Not like had a crush on them or anything, just was friends with them.
91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months? No.
92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael? Michael Jackson. JK, I didn't know him. That would be cool if I did though.
93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew? Nope.
94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going? No.
95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March? Sure? I don't understand this question. The person I liked in March is the person I like now.
96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? No, I'm not a lesbian.
97. Who do you have texts from? My friends.
98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? Probably be upset, but deal with it.
99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Does my Grandma count?
100. Who’s in your profile picture with you? No one, just me.
101. Ever kissed under fireworks? No.
102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies? Yes.

Bullying

If I ruled the world, (see what I did there, BTR song haha) there would be no bullying. People wouldn't spread nasty and untrue rumors about others. I don't understand why people think that they need to bully other people. Why do they do it? Is it because they don't feel comfortable about their own self so they have to point out everyone elses imperfections? Is it because they have a bad life at home and have to let out their fustration on everyone else? Whatever the answer is though, it is wrong to bully, no matter what you've been through.

Most people are bullied at some point in their life. I'm not sure of the exact numbers, because there will always be people who lie about it and say that they weren't just to avoid embarrassment, but I guarantee that most people are. It's sad that some people have to live life getting harrassed and made fun of, not even wanting to leave their house because they know that they are going to get bullied again.

I've been bullied before, but nothing too serious. But it still hurts, no matter how serious or not it is. I still remember it right now, and more than likely will for the rest of my life. I will also always remember when Kirk Smalley, the father of a little boy who killed himself, came to my school. He talked about how bad his son was getting bullied, and he eventually retaliated against the bullies because of it. But when he got in trouble, he killed himself. My opinion is that if you are getting bullied, or see someone getting bullied, tell a trusted adult. It can be your parents, a teacher you trust, a counselor, principal, anyone. They can help you get through it. No one should feel useless and hopeless, or even get to the point of considering suicide because of bullying. They deserve a good life just like everyone else.

So if you're a bully, stop it. How would you like it if you got bullied? If you are the victim of bullying, tell someone. It may seem like you are alone, but there are people who care. Even if I don't know you, I care.