I thought it all would be put aside and forgotten for at least today. It's my birthday, and I thought that everyone would get along because of that. I was wrong.
The yells and screams still happen just like any other day.
I'm sitting on the couch crying. Do they notice? No. Because no one cares. It's never been about me even though it feels like it's my fault. It's not my fault though. It's theirs. No one seems to understand. It's my birthday and I'm miserable. How great is that? I can never have one completely good day. The tears are coming down my face like a waterfall. I can't explain the mix of emotions I feel. It's not good. Don't worry? How can I not when it's happening around me and I have no control? It's injected into my head and there's not a thing I can do about it because I'm not that way. Not the person I deep down feel like I should be. I don't know anything except what's around me. That makes no sense, but neither does anything else right now.
I feel like I need something, but I don't know what. Maybe just a person I can hug and talk to and they'll understand? I need myself. I feel crazy. I'm confused and lost and feel like I'll never find my way to happiness. The darkness always comes and hits like a lightning bolt. Why? That's all I can ask. Thank you for ruining my birthday. That's just what I needed. Thanks a lot for making me feel like crap.
Happy fricking Birthday to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment