Dinner.

Thank goodness that's over.
That meaning dinner with grandma.

I get pretty pissed and upset when people think it's fine to talk about my grandpa who passed away not even a year and a half ago, and expect me to be fine about it. I'm not ok. I'm not going to lie, there's not a day that has gone by since his death that I haven't almost cried/have cried because I miss him so much. Talking about it doesn't help, it only makes it worse.

Especially when I'm trying to eat, and all I hear is "I should have done this, he would still be alive", "Oh, I wish I would've known how bad he was, I would've came down and said goodbye" and just a bunch of crap that makes me extremely upset.

What am I supposed to do? Just sit there like I don't hear a word they say? No.
I can't do that.
It's forced into my brain over and over again.

Then when I force the last bit of food into my mouth and quickly get up from the table and run to the bathroom, they ask "Did I upset her?"
Well what do you think?

Because you freaking did.